Lawyers on a Jury

A trial had been scheduled in a small town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel. Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury. The bailiff returned with a group of lawyers.

The prosecutor felt that it would be an interesting experiment to try a case before a jury of lawyers, and the defense counsel had no objection, so a jury was impaneled. And the trial went very quickly — after only an hour of testimony, and very short closing arguments, both sides rested. The jury was then instructed by the judge, and was sent back to the jury room to deliberate.

After nearly six hours, the trial court was concerned that the jury had not returned with a verdict. The case had in fact turned out to be every bit as simple as he had expected, and it seemed to him that they should have been back in minutes. He sent the bailiff to the jury room, to see if they needed anything.

The bailiff returned, and the judge asked, “Are they close to reaching a verdict?” The bailiff shook his head, and replied, “You’re honor, they’re still doing nomination speeches for the position of foreman.”

Girlfriend 1.0 Software

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0).

Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0, and it’s a memory hogger! It has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he didn’t ask for them, Wife1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw. These too slow down the system and cause a slow drain on the resources and well-being of the computer.

Some features I’d like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend4.0:

1. A “Don’t remind me again” button.

2. Minimize button.

3. Shutdown feature - An install shield feature so that Girlfriend4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don’t lose cache and other objects).

I tried running Girlfriend 2.0 with Girlfriend 1.0 still installed; they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall Girlfriend 1.0, but it didn’t have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory.

Another thing that sucks–in all versions of Girlfriend that I’ve used is that it is totally “object orientated” and only supports hardware with gold plated contacts.

Bug warning
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.

The Trolly

A small child cried shouted while running went round among supermarket shelves.
"Uuuuuu.... uuuu.... uuuu.... where's my trolly?" Where's my trolly? He screamed.
The head of the Shop Assistant came to approach him with the friendly smile.
"What is it in your trolly, son ?" Ask the Head of the Shop Assistant.
"It's empty, Mam." that's nothing at all...
"Oh, if it empty, took the other trolly that you liked for its substitute." said The Shop Assistant.
"I Did not want it, Mam." Must the trolly encouraged that earlier.
"The trolly was just the same, son." See this trolly. What is the difference with your trolly that was lost? Take this...." said The Head of the Shop Assistant.
"It won't be the same, Mam." That trolly was pushed by my mom. If I can find the trolly, definitely I could meet my mom.

Accident

One day the motorcycle accident in front of the house of Doctor Michael, who was very famous because of the expert to cured. The person who fell from the motorcycle was helped by a Police. Then the dialogue happened:

police: “Wow… sir you are very lucky fell exact in front of the house of Doctor Michael who was famous that, so I might not very busy brought you to the hospital. Wait a moment Sir! I’m calling Doctor Michael…”

And then the person who fell from the motorcycle said to the police…

People: “Wow… you are luckier than me Officer,you might not very busy called Doctor Michael, because me myself was Doctor Michael…”

police : “!!!???

crocodile

Ancient in England, when the time landlord had the hunter's strong dogs, this a person who had the dog high only 30cm. When he went for a walk, he met Sir Graham that had the big and hair-raising bulldog dog. “Hai, stranger,” said Sir Graham, ” your dog was very small! ” the Person answered,

“O yeah, ok, if your dog could overcome my dog in 15 seconds, you were given by me 1000 slivers of gold. ” And they pitted their dog. After 10 seconds, blood was scattered everywhere. The bulldog was destroyed. And the person accepted 1000 slivers of gold from the owner of the bulldog. After going for a moment, he met Sir John that had the cross-bred dog herder and the wolf. This time then he challenged the wolf dog with time 20 seconds and the bet 5000 slivers of gold.

The dog hereder that was destroyed in 15 seconds. When he will go, Sir John suggested him to meet the king who had the strongest dog throughout the kingdom. Then the foreigner then met the King and challenged his dog with the bet 10000 slivers of gold. Again and again the opposing dog was destroyed. Most surprised-surprised, the king asked,” Very amazing, what dog is this and how you trained him? ” the Foreigner answered, “Oh, his exercise just so-so, and his race then I was personally more unclear. But if I wasn’t wrong, before his tail was cut off and given ears, his name is crocodile.